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With October just around the corner, many creatives are probably starting to think about which friends and family will get handmade gifts for Christmas (or another holiday) this year. So many of us love to create and want to share that hard work and creativity with our loved ones. It can be a great way to show someone how much they mean to you and to make them a gift perfectly suited to them that they’ll cherish for years to come.

Buuuuut… unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way. Too often I see creatives heartbroken because they made a gift for someone and the person didn’t appreciate it. They end up throwing it in a closet never to be seen again, donating it or giving it away, or – worst of all – throwing it out. If you’re someone who has a lot of pride in what they create (as many of us do), this can be really hurtful. That may be even more true if you’ve just been getting back into creative hobbies and starting to get the confidence to even make things for people.

So how do you spare yourself the heartache?

The best way to avoid getting your feelings hurt like this is to accept that not everyone deserves your handmade gifts.

I know, I know – you saw a crochet pattern for a plushie of your sister’s favorite animal that would be perfect for her. But if she’s not going to appreciate it? You are better off buying one that doesn’t take 12 hours for you to make. It will hurt a lot less if you end up never hearing about it again.

Now you might be thinking, “how do I know who to give handmade gifts to then?” Of course, there is no perfect method that will allow you to predict with 100% accuracy who will or will not appreciate handmade gifts. However, I have a few things that I consider when trying to decide whether to buy or make a gift for someone.

Questions to Ask Yourself to Decide Who Gets Handmade Gifts

How well do I know them?

The very first thing to consider is how well you know the person. There are plenty of handmade gifts that are generic enough you could probably give them to just about anyone, but could and should are not always the same thing. I save handmade gifts for people I know well for a couple reasons.

First, I can be more confident that I can choose something they’ll truly like. Second, there’s only so much time in a day. I don’t want to spend my limited time making handmade gifts for people I don’t really know all that well; I’d rather spend that time making gifts for my closest friends and family who really deserve the effort that goes into them. Save your handmade gifts for boyfriends and moms and maybe skip making them for everyone in the office. (Or don’t. I won’t tell you what to do.)

How do they react when I show them something I made?

If people have only been indifferent when I’ve shown them things I’ve made, they are not going to get a handmade gift. I will only make gifts for people who have shown interest or enthusiasm for what I make. If someone doesn’t seem to be interested in what I make, I generally assume they wouldn’t be interested in receiving it as a gift either.

Now, that can certainly look different for different people. I know many people mistake me as being uninterested in things because I’m autistic and simply don’t show it the same way as people generally expect. So this also goes back to making sure you know the person.

Side note: try not to take it too personally if someone doesn’t seem to give a shit about your creations. Many people just don’t really understand the value of handmade. Chances are it has nothing to do with you.

Are they a creative themself?

There are two main reasons why I consider whether or not the recipient is a creative.

The first is that it helps me gauge whether or not they’ll appreciate the work that goes into it and, as I mentioned above, understand the value of handmade.

Obviously this is not to say that all creatives understand it and none of the non-creatives do. There are plenty of people who still (incorrectly) believe that they “can’t” learn to make things and therefore they actually have a lot of admiration for those who can. Likewise, there are people who can make things but devalue handmade. But generally I find that, as a whole group, people who are creatives tend to appreciate the craftsmanship so if the recipient is a creative, I may be a little more willing to make them something.

The second reason I consider this is because I try not to give handmade gifts to people who could make the items themselves. This isn’t something I stick to strictly because I know that a lot of people almost never make things for themselves and, even if it’s something they could make themselves, creatives tend to appreciate the skill and effort, as I just said above. However, if I’m making a gift for someone who I know crochets blankets, I’m not going to crochet them a blanket. Though, to be honest, I’m probably not crocheting blankets for anyone unless they’re a baby – that’s a lot of work, haha.

Are they hard to please?

Last, but very certainly not least, I always consider whether the recipient is someone who is hard to please. There’s about a 99% chance that if the answer is yes, I’m not making them any handmade gifts.

If I know someone has expensive taste or is just very particular about what they like, I’m not going to risk spending the time and effort on making a gift only to give it to them and have them dislike it. I try to avoid getting my feelings hurt unnecessarily (hence me writing this post – to hopefully help you do the same) so I am not taking the chance. The only exception to this may be if it’s someone I know incredibly well and feel confident that I can identify what they’d like.

By asking myself these questions, I’ve so far been able to avoid having the experience of recipients not liking the handmade gifts I’ve given them. Or I at least have been able to avoid knowing about it, haha. Some people may look at this post and think we should be willing to take more risks and get out of our comfort zones. I can definitely see that perspective and give a lot of kudos to anyone who follows that sort of philosophy. But this isn’t just me trying to avoid getting my feelings hurt. I’ve always loved giving people the perfect gift and so these questions also help me avoid giving people things that they don’t like.

Key Takeaways

• Not everyone deserves a handmade gift, and that’s not mean – it’s self-respect.
• Save handmade gifts for people you know well, so you can confidently pick something they’ll love.
• Pay attention to their past reactions. If they’ve been indifferent to what you make, don’t put 12 hours of work into something for someone who may or may not appreciate it.
• Remember, some people don’t “get” handmade. It often has nothing to do with you and is not a reflection of your work.
• People who make things themselves often understand the effort, so they may appreciate handmade more (but don’t make them the exact thing they already make).
• If someone is hard to please or super picky, go store-bought unless you’re 100% sure.
• The goal is simple: give better gifts and avoid the heartbreak of seeing your work ignored, donated, or tossed.

Are there things you take into consideration when deciding who is getting handmade gifts and who gets store-bought? Let me know in the comments!

If you want to give some handmade gifts for the holidays this year but don’t yet have a creative hobby and don’t know where to start, check out my list of 25 creative hobbies that don’t have a high price tag to get started.